30 Days of Night Review

It’s Saturday Night, and I have nothing to do. My buddy cancelled out on seeing Elizabeth with me, believing that a massive storm was coming and so she would have to take care of her dogs. So instead I changed my plans to see 30 Days of Night, a film based on a comic my brother owned a few years ago. I have never been a big fan of vampire flicks. They are often dominated by the two kinds that I don’t like. The first kind is where the vampire waxes and whines on about his immortal curse and such. The other is where there is a lot of heavy metal music, lots of bared fangs and hissing and lots of bullets (or other such projectiles) flying about the place. At least 30 Days of Night does not attempt to romanticise the vampire. Here, the vampire is a predator, an inhuman seemingly unstoppable, killing machine, spare a handful of weaknesses.

This story is exceedingly simple. Barrow, an isolated Alaskan town, endures a whole month of night, thanks to it’s place above the Arctic Circle. Due to its remote location and a helpful vampire wannabe (played by Ben Foster), Barrow becomes the ideal location for the Vampires to turn it into an all-you-can-eat buffet. Wait, you must know now, while I watch this, there is a couple sitting next to me, and the girl of the two has her head in the guy’s lap, and the guy is sitting right next to me. This is what I get for taking the cupholder. Anyway…It’s up to Eben, played by Josh Harnett and his estranged wife, Stella, (Melissa George) to save the townfolk from these monsters. I can still see them in my periphery, her head is just down in his lap. It’s not moving…

The survivors move from house to house hoping to avoid the undead creatures. They somehow manage to do, despite the fact that the vampires don’t have to sleep and the town is relatively small. What’s more disturbing-moments have passed, long moments, and her head still hasn’t moved. Even porn stars come up for air…what the hell are they doing? And I can’t turn my head and look and I certainly cannot ask, “Say you getting’ blown there?” I have to concentrate on this movie, the way out is through. As with all survival stories like this, the characters are picked off one by one, until the final sacrifice is made. There are no shocking twists in this movie, it is just a simple straightforward story. So while it portrays vampires as monsters, the plot seems far too simple, resulting a production that is being stretched thin. Are the vampires attempting to wipe out their source of food? What will they do for the next 11 months? Is this guy next to me getting a blow job? I soon learn the answer to that question. Out the corner of my eye, the girl’s arm moves, but in such a way that it confirms that she should be lying on her side, watching the movie while her head is in his lap.. Unless she’s picked a more uncomfortable position…No, no one would do that unless they were paid. I can now enjoy the rest of this movie.

Despite it’s flaws, 30 Days far exceeds other vampire movies which are cult classics for foppish Goths. It’s even better when you’re at the theatre and the person next to you isn’t receiving oral sex. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Addendum: I left the cinema expecting the crisp ozone smell of the storm, but there was only the fading summer heat. My friend was disappointed as well, as no storm came, and so her dogs were fine. Damn this weather.

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