Lessons Learnt for 2007

Last year I sent around a list of things that I had learnt. I’m not sure if people found it funny or not. Anyway, in continuing my tradition of writing about things that have happened to me over the year, the list is back for another round. And it’s been quite year. And if you know me well enough, you’ll understand why and what has happened

Whenever you move from one place to another take more time than a week. While this conjures a strange respect in others, you will find yourself missing a great deal of items and thinking, “Man I could really go for some Lone Wolf and Cub…No, wait I left that back at home.”

Never move just for the job. That, I think was my only real mistake this year. I should have said something like, “I thought Canberra might be nice and I knew a few people down here…” At least this way people won’t think that you’re some kind of crazy guy.

When riding on the bus, do not talk to anyone and make eye contact. Fatal consequences only follow this, meaning, one way or another you will not ride the bus again, except only in the most extreme circumstances.

On the occasion that you are nice to someone, make sure it’s not the crazy lady that looks like Queen Mary out of Elizabeth. Otherwise she will take an unnatural liking to you and attempt to steal your seed, blood or other vital fluids and she will have very grabby hands.

When you attempt to prevent said crazy lady to touching you, make sure that you are armed with something heavy. A university text book usually does the trick, but you may have to improvise.

When your boss asks to work overtime, forcing you to drive a car and therefore avoiding the crazy, grabby, bus lady. Thank your good fortune.

There are never enough car parks in this world.

I found that Venetian Snares is the scariest and, yet, strangely intriguing electronic music I have encountered so far.

When hunting for a place to live, the most interesting and I found had the keywords, “Brokeback Mountain Situation”. I didn’t respond to this ad, I just thought it was funny. And scary. Very scary.

Also, you don’t always get the first place you wanted, or the seventh, even the one that was expensive, but it had so many features, man it would have been worth it, like the place that had a spa, gymnasium and parking all in a secure block, and the girl was visually impaired, meaning she had a massive projector screen.

But when you move into a new flat make sure it doesn’t have rising damp.

GE Creditline’s Employees, collectively, are soulless vultures who circle above you waiting for you to drop so they can feed on the corpse of your earnings. Though, individually, I’m sure they are very nice people.

Auctions are fun, but when you buy a desk, also buy a chair. Prearrange how exactly you’re going to transport your desk-sans-chair. And probably think how it’s going to fit in your room, because the flatmates won’t let you have it in the living room. Yeah, that’s all important.

If “Buffalo Bill” had YouTube, he would be Chris Crocker.

I didn’t think that Maynard James Keenan could get any lamer, but man, I was so wrong.

What do I dread more than a system design assignment, a dental checkup and an extra workload combined? That’s right Sandworms of Dune by Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert. But only because Dan Brown didn’t release anything this year.

Robert Anton Wilson died near the start year and it made me a very sad Panda.

That’s about all, I won’t think of anything new until the new year.

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