Well I had a Nokia N95, but the thing has finally died on me. But I’m not free of it just yet. lately the phone was playing up on me, being a slow bastard in doing anything for me. I use to sub out my phone as an mp3 player, because it had 8gb of space and I could plug headphones into it. However, Nokia back in the day saw it fit to have a refresh option. When you load about 6Gb or so worth of tunes into the phone, not only may it take more than a day to actually recognise your tracks, but it just might error out, because for some reason you didn’t like the file/folder names. Goddamit.

So after I decided to clear off all of the music and reload it all with new stuff, problems began. First of all I thought it was because it didn’t refresh the tracks properly, but then I figured out that it may have been the brackets in the folder names. So i tried again and found that it worked. No more problems. I loaded more music. and then a couple of days later, I found the thing dead. It turned it self off. The battery wasn’t dead. After some fiddling, the phone finally came back to life, but not before it gave me a sign that something was horribly wrong. something like “Startup has failed. Contact Retailer”

So I began to look for a solution. Now I use a Mac. Big Deal. Well it is if you want to have anything to do with Nokia and fixing problems with your phone, like upgrading the firmware. Nokia only have ever supplied software for the PC. The only thing that they supply for Apple is something that will allow you to transfer your tracks through iTunes. Not that I care much, because I know how to drag/drop and copy and paste. I know exactly where my files are, I don’t need an application that pretends I have my stuff organised.

After downloading the software updater and the PC Suite software, I steal a laptop to install, and attempt to fix it. Somehow the following problems occur:

• My phone refuses to connect to the laptop through PC Suite. Forcing me to reboot.
• My Phone connects to the laptop through PC Suite, but then mysteriously disconnects. I can’t connect it again, nor can i connect any other storage device through USB. Forcing me to reboot
• My Phone connects, but the update it ten times the amount that Nokia told me it would be. I am at work. Ethical dilemma ensues. Forcing me to reboot.
• I download the update. The update begins to run. The Nokia Software Updater then tells me that my phone has become mysterious disconnected. I check the phone. It has turned itself off. I have to take out the battery and replace it. I think about killing something. I replace the battery again. The phone beeps to life. I cannot connect the phone, or any other USB storage device (once more). Forcing me to reboot.
• Like a fucking fool, I do this two more times. I give up. And I go home. I avoid dinner. Surf some porn and finish a bottle of wine. Now I write this. No more rebooting yet.

So. The people at 3 Mobile have been as useful to me as a massage therapist who also happens to be quadruple amputee. I really don’t think Nokia will be much more helpful considering I’ve explored avenues on fixing it using Nokia’s software. 3 will charge me a limb for leaving the contract early, which I really don’t want to pay.

I could probably stick with the phone. I might borrow a friend’s spare in the meantime though and actually purchase a decent mp3 player.

Fuck You Nokia.

Goodnight in these Vampire Hours

Update: My phone now works okay, but only as a phone as far as I can tell. The Nokia software on the laptop is still screwing things around. So still Fuck You Nokia.