Apple Vision Pro

Welcome to Apple’s latest innovation – Vision Pro. A spatial computing headset that will make any space your new area for work, play and mindfulness.

The headset visor is made from a single piece of curved laminated glass, with dual screens to deliver higher than 4K quality images directly in front of your eyes.

Vision Pro’s spatial computing is navigated with your eyes and voice and select by tapping thumb and forefinger. Wait, you just clicked on an ad, some king of scam, where’s it taking you? Shit, how do you, fuck, how do you go back?! Ah close the browser!

With Vision Pro, you can see your surroundings and the people around you. And they can see you. But they can’t see what you see, adding a whole new challenge for the Try Not To Cum game you’re currently playing in the living room.

Vision Pro has a full immersion mode, allowing you to experience distraction-free browsing and viewing. Watch video without outside movement and noise. When you regain consciousness, you realise the car you were driving left the highway and rolled in a ditch.

With a simple gesture, you can shrink or grow any window or display. Or add more panes for FaceTime calls. Which is great considering you haven’t been able to purchase any furniture in the last few months

The new mindfulness app provides a space to clear your thoughts of the world being on fire, the housing crisis, food shortages, or the power to the building cut in a blackout. At least for the battery life of the Vision Pro which is approximately two hours.

Look at these people. They look obnoxious with the Vision Pro, despite how attractive they are. Now imagine yourself with one, walking around in public. Ugh. Gross.

With a press of the top button, you can capture spatial photos and videos that are so lifelike, they’re almost memories. Using Vision Pro you can watch your loved ones again and again, wondering what their lives are like now. Where are they? What names do they go by?

Apple Vision Pro. A new view for the future.

Oh. You wear glasses. Buy an ultra-wide monitor I guess.